Finally a Proverbs 31 Study That Doesn't Read Like a Manual

If you have browsed around my website and read my thoughts on Proverbs 31, you know that I am skeptical of Proverbs 31 materials. They tend to focus on works-based perfectionism.

However, Amy Bayliss, a great women's ministry leader, has put together an awesome study on Proverbs 31 that focuses on women giving their heart to God. I promise you will learn from this study even if you feel like you are an expert (lover or hater) on Proverbs 31.

I encourage you to watch the video of the first session, Proverbs 31- Shattering the Myths. I have been studying Proverbs 31 for a very long time, and I never knew the detail of the significance of the "ruby" analogy until I watched Amy's webinar. It was truly amazing. Please take the time to watch this video.

This will be a monthly Bible Study hosted at Christian Women Affiliate. You will be able to watch the session live and participate with comments, or watch the recorded video later.

I will be eagerly following this study throughout the year. In response to Amy's blog post about the study, I am answering the following questions:

What do I hope to get out of this Bible study?

I have spent a lot of time writing about the things "not found in Proverbs 31" and the pitfalls of trying to accomplish these things from the outside in. As Amy points out in the first session, Proverbs 31 starts with the fear of the Lord and dependence on His strength, but we do have to act. I know that I will learn a lot about what that action looks like in order to "produce the fruit."

What, if anything, has prevented me from studying these scriptures in the past?

I probably studied them too much with the wrong focus way back in the beginning of my marriage. Then I didn't want to study them at all because the "works" are unachievable. Finally, I began to understand this scripture in the light of more wisdom and see that these works are fruit produced by a heart that is completely God's.

What have I found helpful or frustrating about living out these scriptures?

The frustrating part, of course, is the list of great things when we separate them from the rest of the passage. The helpful part, however, is verse 10 reminding us that this is a description of character, and one that is rare. Of course, verse 30 reminds us that outward beauty is vain and that fulfillment of this passage is found in the fear of the Lord.

Don't miss out on this great study!

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Have you ever attacked "Lillian Miller?"

Last night I watched one of my favorite episodes of Malcolm in the Middle. I don't know the official title, but I call it the "the Lillian Miller episode."

For those of you unfamiliar with the show, Lois is the mother of four boys, and in this episode she decides that she is needing to have some meaningful conversation with females. So she joins a ladies' book club.

Lois soon finds out that the women in the group don't actually read the book. They just need an excuse for a regular night away from their "mom duties." So they sit and share and vent and drink wine.

As they complain about the images they cannot live up to, they make a discovery. Society isn't their problem; their problem is Lillian Miller.

Lillian Miller baked 20 homemade cakes for the school bake sale.

Lillian Miller is never late for carpool.

Lillian Miller's family surprised her with a trip to Spain.

Lillian Miller is a size 2, her hair and makeup are always perfect, and she wears a silk blouse and pearls to bake homemade cookies that she places on pretty little doilies.

I wasn't liking her much either.

This group of moms, filled with a little too much wine, decide to go to Lillian Miller's house and try to disable her car so that she will "know what it feels like to be late" like the rest of them.

Yeah, it turned out to be a bad idea,

But we Christian women never do anything like this.

Or do we?

Have you ever been in one of those conversations that are preceded by "Bless her heart...?"

Have you ever discussed a "prayer request" that just happened to give shocking details about the life of a well-respected woman in your church or community?

Have you secretly celebrated over the misfortune of another woman that you felt was just too perfect?

What about secretly wanting to tear Proverbs 31 out of your Bible?

Maybe sometimes we are guilty of attacking Lillian Miller, when she just might be someone who needs our support and encouragement.

Related Articles:
Is Proverbs 31 Making You Crazy? - 10 Things Not Found in Proverbs 31
Perfectionism Links to Eating Disorders
Perfectionists or Disciples?

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Check out new pages on the website...

If you haven't browsed the Tabitha's Team Website lately, now is a good time to check out what's new.

Our new team members have posted some great articles. You can keep up with new articles by visiting the What's New? page. Once you are there, you can subscribe to the site feed using the RSS button on the page. The What's New? page is a separate feed from my blog; it includes all of the reader submissions, team member articles, and other new pages on the website.

You can post to this feed by participating on the website:

Contribute to a topic in Your Stories.

Submit a post about serving others to the Servant's Blog.

Feature your blog in the Christian Women's Blog Directory.

Submit a question to one of our Team Members.

Your posts will show up in the feed on What's New? and will be automatically fed to twitter.

We also have a new Team Member.

Tia Lott is an experienced educator and single parent, and is willing to share with you and answer your questions about motherhood, single parenting, working with and raising adolescents, or education. Visit her page and ask a question.

Finally, if you missed the January Newsletter, you can read it here.

The topic is Dreaming, Planning, and Waiting and the contents include:

1. Welcome from Kelly

2. Don't Lose Your Vision

3. Hope Deferred - Learning to Wait

4. Joseph - The Dreamer Who Waited a Lifetime

5. Participate! Ask a Question.

6. Book Recommendation - The Dream Giver [Amazon Affiliate Link]

You can subscribe to the newsletter here.

Thanks for taking the time to visit the Tabitha's Team Website.

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Does the Church Need a Throwback Week?

The "throwback theme" seems to be very popular.

Throwback jerseys (I'm one of the people who actually loved Denver's brown).

Throwback Pepsi.

My cousin and best friend just posted this picture of us on the middle school bus for throwback week on facebook.

What would the throwback church look like?

Anne Jackson recently wrote this post about the breaking news that "Christians give poor people the shaft."  If you look at the chart that shows the responses of "conservative religious activists," I would say it is a pretty accurate but unfortunate representation.

Only 23% think poverty is an important issue.

Let's throw ourselves back to the early church.

Maybe Tabitha is a good place to start on this site.  Acts 9:36 says that she was always doing good and helping the poor.

Here are James' thoughts:

Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?
James 2:15-16

In The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel,  the rapid spread of Christianity in the days of the early church is disccussed.  Strobel quotes Patrick Glynn:

The very kindness of the Christians and their service to the poor and downtrodden attracted new adherents.  "Christians astounded the ancients with their charity," as one historian puts it.

Are we astounding people with our charity?

What do you think, do we need a a throwback church?

Related article:  Perfectionists or Disciples?

Have you been blessed by serving the poor?  Post your story here.

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Sometimes You Just Know When Something Dark is Following You Around

Have you ever felt like a little spiritual troublemaker is just hovering around you?

Yesterday was full of frustration.  I recognized that most of my frustrations were the usual accusing lies (we all have them, right?), prayed, got over it, and enjoyed an evening with my family.  I decided to get up an hour earlier than usual today to ensure uninterrupted quiet time and get a good start on the new day.

In that first hour, my favorite morning mug toppled, shattered, and spilled coffee all over the floor.

Sigh.  Clean up.  Smile.  Over it.

On with the day.  While I'm cooking oatmeal, the spoon falls all the way down into the bowl.

Sigh,. Smile.

"Just the type of day I'm having," I tell my son, as I rinse it off and replace it. 

While the oatmeal is cooking, I decide to scrape out the stoneware baking dish that is sitting in the sink.  You know, the good Pampered Chef kind.  In that beautiful cranberry color that I love.

Somehow I drop the baking dish while I'm turning it and it breaks into 3 pieces in my sink.

While I'm yelling "Are you kidding me?!" and picking up the pieces, the sharp corner slices my hand.  I mean slices.  It was enough to make me cry out in pain.

While I'm telling my son to take over oatmeal duty so I can find some gauze and try to stop the bleeding, my daughter shows me her pale face and says she is going to be sick and runs into the bathroom.

Yes, this is the day we are having.  And now we actually have to leave the house for an orthodontist appointment.  I could use some prayer for a safe return.

Have you ever had a day like this?

You might want to contribute to this participation page:  You Know You Need a Mom Break When...

You can also read Mom Break stories that others have submitted.

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Credibility - Do we do this with God?

Earlier this week I was having a blog-comment conversation about raising teenagers.  I shared a statement that I often give to my friends who aren't quite to that stage yet:

"It's like one day I suddenly lost all of my credibility and now I have to back up every statement that I make."

For example, this week my children were working on thank-you notes.  My son asked me how my sister spells her first name. 

I gave him the answer.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that?"

"Shes my sister."

"Well, have you seen her spell it a bunch of times?"

Aghh! Are you kidding me?  She's my sister!

This type of conversation goes on daily at my house.

As I reflected on this conversation later, I started wondering if I ever sound like this to God.

How often do I question him when he gives me direction?

Do I ever sound stubborn and ridiculous to him?

I don't think I want to answer that - how about you?

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Meet the First Three Team Members

Three new pages are now available on the Tabithas Team website.  You can click on "Team Members" in navigation bar in the top left corner or click here to learn more about them.

Sarah Stirman writes and speaks about marriage and family issues.

Heleen Woest helps women with food addiction.

Donna Perugini is a children's book author who has creative ideas for teaching children.

Visit their pages and ask a question!

P.S. Yes, that newsletter is really coming. Thanks for your patience.

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Women Sharing Their Wisdom and Strengths - Share Yours

Tabitha's Team seems to be just taking shape as I go.  One thing bothers me:  I write articles about teamwork and community, but the site is still more of me talking than anything else. 

What was that mission statement again? 

"To inspire women to seek first to be disciples, encourage each other to break free from perfectionism, and live as servants of Jesus."

I want to see women encouraging each other.

If we don't, we run the comparision meter against each other and getting stressed about falling short.  Then we worry about being perfectionists instead of disciples and we are too big of a mess to serve effectively.

See how it all works together?

It's not about "making each other feel good."  It's about equipping each other as disciples and encouraging each other in truth so that we can be effective servants.

So we are going to try something new:  Your page on Tabitha's Team.

Would you like to share what you have learned with other women? Send me a message here.

I already have a few women who are jumping in to have their own page, tell you about their strengths and what God has taught them, and answer your questions online. Their pages will be published later today and will be highlighted in tomorrow's newsletter. 

What can you share with others? It can be a heavier subject like parenting special needs children, or a crafty skill like scrapbooking and creating memories for our families. Everyone has something to share.  Let me know about it.

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Treasures and Plans

I have been enjoying some time off with my family, reading, reflecting over the past year, and contemplating the direction for Tabitha's Team this year.  When I entered this online world seven months ago, I had no idea what a sense of community I would find.  I hope to add to this community with a new feaure on the website. (More news coming..)

Although I have not been posting, I have been reading your blogs, and I have found some treasures that I wanted to share.

First, it is not too late to get in on the 31 Day Challenge study that Crosspoint Church is offering online.  The accountability to read a Proverb a day and share with the group is a great way to start the new year.

If you are tired of reading "blah blah blah resolution, blah blah blah goals, blah blah nothing new here" try Donald Miller's post about living a good story as an alternative to new year's resolutions.

As someone who defies perfectionism I love Sandy's post at Reluctant Entertainer and the pictures that she has posted there.

Keeping with the non-perfection theme, Lindsey Nobles wrote a great post on love being great and imperfect.

Authentic community in the church was found in the comments surrounding Peter's post,  I Am Not Okay.

I hope to bring you more resources.  I love writing, but I also love connecting people.

I am excited about a new feature coming up on the Tabitha's Team website designed to help women connect and help each other from their areas of strength.  I will let you know more about it tomorrow...

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