That Sweet Kid Who Carried My Lunch Trays

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

About 24 years ago, my best friend decided to break up with her boyfriend.  I thought it was a great idea.  I really didn't care for the boy she was "dating" (this was 7th grade).  Actually, I pretty much thought he was a jerk who didn't care about anything.  I had let him know this a few times, too.

When they broke up, she returned some jewelry that he had given her.  She just felt like that was the right thing to do.  That day in the lunch line, he approached me and asked why she gave back that jewelry.  He seemed genuinely hurt that she would do this, and explained that it was a gift he meant for her to keep.  So we started talking.

Then he carried my lunch to the table.  We continued talking throughout lunch.

Almost every day after that, this boy would stand in line with me and carry my lunch tray to the table.  We became very good friends.  I learned that I was really wrong about him, and that he had a maturity and a respect for women that most boys his age didn't have.

When he travelled to California that summer, we wrote letters to each other.  We had become great friends, and we remained great friends throughout middle school and high school.  It wasn't until the end of our junior year that we actually started dating.

Eighteen years ago today, I said "I do" and married that boy. 

He's still just as sweet, he still shows me tremendous respect, and he's still a great friend.

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Book Review: Homeschooling for the Rest of Us by Sonya Haskins

Monday, March 8, 2010

Homeschooling for the Rest of Us: How Your One-of-a-Kind Family Can Make Homeschooling and Real Life Work By Sonya Haskins / Bethany House

This is a refreshing read for homeschooling parents. Sonya Haskins offers a real life view of what it means to homeschool in a non-perfect household. She is also respectful of the reader's time, not over-emphasizing her points just to produce a long book. Sonya gets to the point and moves on; I read this book in one evening.

This is not a book that lists and evaluates curriculum choices and teaching methods. Instead, it offers suggestions on how to incorporate homeschooling into your life. The focus is on rejecting perfectionism, building a foundation on positive relationships, and recognizing that the burden and responsibility of education is on the student. I'm all about rejecting perfectionism, so I was hooked from the beginning when I read, "Even if perfectionism could be achieved, what's the cost to your sanity?"

I enjoyed reading Sonya's stories of living in a "very messy house" and serving sandwiches and leftovers during the times when she needs to be a working, writing mom who happens to homeschool. I also enjoyed reading the stories and insights of other homeschoolers, which are included in the margins throughout the book.

This book is very honest about frustrations that homeschooling families face, and helps to sort out what needs to be addressed and what needs to be ignored. She covers socialization, public perception, dealing with relatives and friends, and working with a tight budget.

I believe that Sonya achieved her stated goal to offer helpful suggestions without being judgemental. She offers examples of routines and schedules while noting that a more relaxed atmosphere is okay. She gives a well-rounded view of support groups and extra-curricular activities, but leaves it to the parent to decide how much is appropriate. Any time her own methods are given, they are truly given as options she has chosen that may not work for everyone. Finally, she recognizes that public or private school may be the right choice at certian times. In the end, she reminds us to sift through the advice and find our own path.


Buy Homeschooling for the Rest of Us at Christianbook.com.

A copy of this book was provided to me by Bethany House for my honest review of the product. All views expressed are my own. Tabitha's Team is an affiliate of Christian Book Distributers, and purchases made through the links on this post will support Tabitha's Team Inc with a commission.



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Awesome Affordable Christian Women Conferences

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

This is not a sponsored post, but it may sound like one. I almost missed out on something great, and I don't want you to miss out either. A couple of weeks ago, I was visitng Amy Bayliss' site (as I often do), and noticed that she was running several giveaway contests. I signed up to enter two of them.

One happened to be for a ticket to the Homeschool Refresher conference that Heart of The Matter Online was hosting.  I left my comment, connected in a few places for my entries, and forgot all about it.  I had seen the agenda for the conference and thought, "Oh, that's nice."  But honestly, I think because it was only $12.95, I pictued it more as a chat session.  Besides, I'm busy trying to get this new web design up that I keep promising.

Well. I won the ticket.  It was only after attending that I truly realized the value of this conference.  It was four full days of conference sessions.  Qualified, helpful speakers who did a lot more than just promote their products.  They gave me information, tips, and much needed confidence.  I have pages of notes, a stack of handouts, and a list of resources to follow up on.

I'm embarrassed that I didn't just pay the $12.95 and sign up to begin with.  This conference was one of many that are offered by A Woman Inspired.  These conferences are very affordable.  In my opinion, they are giving them away. 

There is a general conference for Christian Women coming up March 15-19.  The Get Revived Conference for Christian Women is the same price.  $12.95.   That's twelve dollars and ninety-five cents.  If you ever wanted to attend a Christian Women's conference, but could not shell out the money or leave your family, here is your chance to be blessed.

Also, if you have an idea for a class that you can offer to Christian women, you can host your own event on their website and make some extra money.

For goodness sake, let's support this site, so that they can keep it so affordable.  I'm on my way over to buy my ticket now, so come and join me.



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My Apologies for Overloaded Feed-Readers

Sunday, February 14, 2010

I can almost hear everyone cursing at me as they open their feed readers; in an effort to consolidate separate feeds from my site (to make it simple for readers), I accidentally created an endless loop of duplicate feed content that loaded up RSS readers with endless posts.

I know, I saw it in my own Google Reader.

Very sorry.

The problem is solved! Just "delete all" or "mark all as read" and everything should move smoothly from here on out.

Thanks for your patience.


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On Blissdom and Blogging...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Today on Twitter, I admitted my jealousy of all those going to Blissdom. All of that learning and connecting meeting your favorite bloggers face to face - I truly hope it is a great experience for all.

In reality, though, I'm probably not ready for a Blogger conference. I'm still figuring all of this out, but having a great time doing it. I feel like a sponge just soaking up everything I can learn.

I also feel like someone who moved into a "new online home" just over 8 months ago, and I'm still unpacking and arranging my living room. I commented to my husband a few days ago that I am happy about all of the traffic, but It feels like I am having people visit before I've finished cleaning the house.

I guess that is a little ironic for someone who is supposed to be rejecting perfectionism.

This got me thinking about how great and welcoming I have found this online community of bloggers to be; I had no idea what I was entering into last summer. I found a group of people who love to visit with each other and share ideas, and they don't really care how perfect the living room looks. So I want to say thanks to all you who have been visiting as I settle in.

I've been working on a new structure and design template for my website, so I have been a sporatic poster lately, but I have been blessed with very talented Team Members who are keeping up the fresh content. Please stop by and visit their pages and ask a question or two.

If I stay on schedule, the new design should be up in about a week. In the meantime, please come in, browse around, and just ignore the dust and clutter.

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Finally a Proverbs 31 Study That Doesn't Read Like a Manual

Thursday, January 21, 2010

If you have browsed around my website and read my thoughts on Proverbs 31, you know that I am skeptical of Proverbs 31 materials. They tend to focus on works-based perfectionism.

However, Amy Bayliss, a great women's ministry leader, has put together an awesome study on Proverbs 31 that focuses on women giving their heart to God. I promise you will learn from this study even if you feel like you are an expert (lover or hater) on Proverbs 31.

I encourage you to watch the video of the first session, Proverbs 31- Shattering the Myths. I have been studying Proverbs 31 for a very long time, and I never knew the detail of the significance of the "ruby" analogy until I watched Amy's webinar. It was truly amazing. Please take the time to watch this video.

This will be a monthly Bible Study hosted at Christian Women Affiliate. You will be able to watch the session live and participate with comments, or watch the recorded video later.

I will be eagerly following this study throughout the year. In response to Amy's blog post about the study, I am answering the following questions:

What do I hope to get out of this Bible study?

I have spent a lot of time writing about the things "not found in Proverbs 31" and the pitfalls of trying to accomplish these things from the outside in. As Amy points out in the first session, Proverbs 31 starts with the fear of the Lord and dependence on His strength, but we do have to act. I know that I will learn a lot about what that action looks like in order to "produce the fruit."

What, if anything, has prevented me from studying these scriptures in the past?

I probably studied them too much with the wrong focus way back in the beginning of my marriage. Then I didn't want to study them at all because the "works" are unachievable. Finally, I began to understand this scripture in the light of more wisdom and see that these works are fruit produced by a heart that is completely God's.

What have I found helpful or frustrating about living out these scriptures?

The frustrating part, of course, is the list of great things when we separate them from the rest of the passage. The helpful part, however, is verse 10 reminding us that this is a description of character, and one that is rare. Of course, verse 30 reminds us that outward beauty is vain and that fulfillment of this passage is found in the fear of the Lord.

Don't miss out on this great study!

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Have you ever attacked "Lillian Miller?"

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Last night I watched one of my favorite episodes of Malcolm in the Middle. I don't know the official title, but I call it the "the Lillian Miller episode."

For those of you unfamiliar with the show, Lois is the mother of four boys, and in this episode she decides that she is needing to have some meaningful conversation with females. So she joins a ladies' book club.

Lois soon finds out that the women in the group don't actually read the book. They just need an excuse for a regular night away from their "mom duties." So they sit and share and vent and drink wine.

As they complain about the images they cannot live up to, they make a discovery. Society isn't their problem; their problem is Lillian Miller.

Lillian Miller baked 20 homemade cakes for the school bake sale.

Lillian Miller is never late for carpool.

Lillian Miller's family surprised her with a trip to Spain.

Lillian Miller is a size 2, her hair and makeup are always perfect, and she wears a silk blouse and pearls to bake homemade cookies that she places on pretty little doilies.

I wasn't liking her much either.

This group of moms, filled with a little too much wine, decide to go to Lillian Miller's house and try to disable her car so that she will "know what it feels like to be late" like the rest of them.

Yeah, it turned out to be a bad idea,

But we Christian women never do anything like this.

Or do we?

Have you ever been in one of those conversations that are preceded by "Bless her heart...?"

Have you ever discussed a "prayer request" that just happened to give shocking details about the life of a well-respected woman in your church or community?

Have you secretly celebrated over the misfortune of another woman that you felt was just too perfect?

What about secretly wanting to tear Proverbs 31 out of your Bible?

Maybe sometimes we are guilty of attacking Lillian Miller, when she just might be someone who needs our support and encouragement.

Related Articles:
Is Proverbs 31 Making You Crazy? - 10 Things Not Found in Proverbs 31
Perfectionism Links to Eating Disorders
Perfectionists or Disciples?

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